


Licensed

by Queen_Valkyrie



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Bank Robbery, Fake AH Crew, GTAV AU, Heist, Immortal Fake AH Crew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 23:03:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6213679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Valkyrie/pseuds/Queen_Valkyrie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the middle of a bank heist, Ryan reveals a ridiculous and surprisingly civil secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Licensed

**Author's Note:**

> This one is inspired by another tumblr post I saw. I hope you enjoy.  
> Also, all the heists names are the ones from Ray’s heists-- Their middle names. So Geoff is Lazer, Jack is Shannon, Ryan is James, Gavin is David, Michael is Vincent, Lindsay is Elise, and Ray is T.A.F.K.A.R.

Gavin’s voice crackled through Michael’s earpiece.

“All right, boys--”

“Hey!” Lindsay interrupted. “ _Boys_ is condescending. And infantilizing. We’re men.”

Michael rolled his eyes and grinned. _God_ , he loved her.

“Whatever. The alarms are all off, but I’m still working on the cellular networks. Try and keep everybody off their phones, but if you can’t, get in and out as quickly as you can, got it?”

“Easy,” Ryan gloated, cocking his pistol from the passenger’s seat next to Michael.

“Vincent, you got everything ready?” Geoff asked through the coms. 

“Charges are set and ready to blow. Triggers primed. Get ready to run once I give you the signal.”

“Ray, are you--”

“T.A.F.K.A.R.,” Ray corrected.

Geoff let out a long sigh. “T.A.F.K.A.R., are you set?”

“In position, Lazer. Ready to blow some brains out.”

“Good. Me and Shannon will keep the crowd down. James and Elise, you get the money. Vincent, once you blow the door, you cover it. Capiche?”

“Capiche,” they all chimed in unison.

“All right. T.A.F.K.A.R., if you would.”

Michael could hear the grin spreading across Ray’s face as the sniper announced his trademark phrase. “Llllllllllllet’s heist!”

Michael slammed on the gas and sped off towards the bank, tires squealing against the asphalt.

He saw Geoff, Jack, and Lindsay race past them in the Roosevelt, and Lindsay threw him a wink and a middle finger.

His foot pressed down on the gas pedal again and, two blocks away from the bank, he caught up with them.

“David,” Ryan shouted into his com, “What’s the status on the cell towers?”

“Still working on it,” Gavin muttered amongst the incessant sound of his keyboards clicking. “Give me a minute.”

“We don’t _have_ a minute,” Ryan groaned. “We’re here!”

Michael pulled a sharp 90-degree-turn and parallel-parked behind the Roosevelt. He nodded at Ryan, who reached under his mask and turned off his com. “Alright, assholes, coms off!”

With a quick flick, he switched his earpiece off, and immediately slammed the trigger, lighting up the sky in a blaze of smoke and flame. After the noise passed, he turned his com back on and was greeted with the sound of Geoff’s cackle.

“Thar she blows!” The leader yelled. “Men, ahoy!”

Michael took his grenade launcher out of the back seat and rushed to the hole where the door had been, ushering Geoff, Jack, Ryan, and Lindsay inside.

“Get down on the fucking ground!” Geoff yelled, his AK in hand.

“Anything yet, Gav-- David?” Jack asked, her voice tense but soft.

“Still up and running,” Gavin replied, and Michael could picture the hacker tearing his hands through his dirty-blonde hair.

Ryan let out an annoyed huff. “Let’s speed it up then, Elise. Vincent! We need someone else to bag money!”

“On it,” Michael said, running inside the bank and heading to the third teller. He pulled out a pistol, cocked it, and aimed it at the acne-ridden guy’s forehead, nodding curtly. “Come on, you know what to do.”

“Hurry it up, asshole!” Lindsay yelled at her teller, who shoved as many handfuls of money as he could into the bag and threw it at her. “Thanks,” she grinned. “Lazer, cover me. I’m going to get the car ready.”

“Got it,” Geoff replied. “We’re only taking one car out of here, gotta save time. Get the Roosevelt.”

Michael’s mouth dropped into a wide O. “What about my car?”

“You stole that, Vincent,” Jack said, rolling her eyes. “It’s not yours anyways.”

“But it was nice!”

“We don’t have time! Stop bitching about it and get the money!”

“Whatever,” Michael groaned.

“Guys,” Ray announced, “Incoming cops. I’ll take out as many as I can, but be on guard, a few might get through.”

He wasn’t wrong, as Michael heard shouting echoing through the bank lobby as Michael’s teller shoved the bag of money towards him.

“Freeze!” The cops yelled, their pistols trained on the crew.

Geoff rolled his dark blue eyes and glanced at Michael, neither of them moving. Ryan kept his gun trained on the teller as the girl continued stuffing bills into the burlap sack.

“Drop your weapon!” An officer shouted, his steely eyes trained on Ryan.

The mercenary glanced over his shoulder, his bright blue eyes blazing out under the black skull mask, and blinked.

“Oh, no, it’s fine.” Ryan replied in his charming, slightly-southern-dad-voice, snatching the bag from the teller. “I have a carry license.”

The bank went dead silent.

Until it was interrupted by Geoff’s obnoxious laugh.

“I’m here!” Lindsay announced through the coms.

Ryan was the first to move, grabbing Michael by the arm and dragging him out of the bank, Jack and Geoff close behind, the leader still howling with laughter.

Jack climbed into the passenger seat while the three men clambered into the back, Ryan laughing along with Geoff.

Jack started to giggle too and when Michael glanced over at Geoff, he was cackling so hard that tears were racing down his cheeks, and Michael let out a laugh too.

Lindsay, who was trying to focus on driving, let a few chuckles slip, and soon they all dissolved into boundless laughter.  
…………

“Do you really have a carry license?” Michael asked a few hours later, when they were all sprawled in the living room, Jack counting the bills carefully.

“Yeah,” Ryan nodded nonchalantly.

“Dude, why?”

Ryan’s eyes went wide and he placed one hand over his heart. “Are you kidding?” He asked with contrived innocence. “I don’t want to get _arrested_.”


End file.
